For This Child I Prayed

Any day now. Any day now we will be welcoming our little boy into the world. A huge part of me is ready for this to happen now. My physical body is in pain. I have a hard time walking, squatting, and standing for very long. Sleep is a precious gift that eludes me. Physically, I am ready to have this baby. I am SO tired of being pregnant. 

But there’s also a considerable part of me that wants to keep this baby inside my belly forever. To prolong the inevitable. And that’s the part of me I’m trying to come to terms with. It isn’t that I’m dreading the sleepless nights with a newborn or those exhausting and often difficult first few weeks. With enough coffee and chocolate I can survive that. 

I wrote the lines above at 7:45 AM on June 16, eight days before my due date. I didn't finish the post. My daughter woke up. Our day got started. We had to make the 50 mile drive to the midwife's office that afternoon. After the exam she informed me that I was only dilated to 1 cm and this baby would probably not make his arrival for another 1-2 weeks. Ugh. I sent messages to everyone letting them know that the baby's arrival was still a ways out.

I was more than a little disappointed at that news and proceeded to emotionally eat an entire bag of Sheila G's Brownie Brittle. Have you tried that stuff? AH-mazing! But honestly, eating 500 calories of chocolate deliciousness did little to help me feel any better. I felt like my body was failing me. Or maybe I was the one failing. I wasn't sure which but I felt helpless.

After my chocolate covered pity party I decided I had better get on with my day. Back at home I started feeling really crampy from the midwife's exam so I decided to take it easy. Throughout dinner, the cramps just got worse and on our evening walk there were moments I was in so much pain I had to lean over the stroller. Still, I was positive this was just a reaction to the exam since I hadn't had one since 35 weeks.

By six o'clock I was pretty sure I was having contractions but come on, the midwife had told me just hours ago that I wasn't close to going into labor. They must be Braxton Hicks, I thought, but still I decided to make another lap around the neighborhood and call the midwife. It was 7 PM at that point. The midwife confirmed that they were likely BH especially since they weren't following any pattern, coming as close as a minute and a half apart and only lasting for 30 seconds on average. I was instructed to drink a ton of water and lay down - maybe take a warm bath - and the contractions should stop.

My sleepy little girl and I after getting checked in at the hospital

I drank my water and laid down for about five minutes. That was long enough for me to know this was real labor. Have I mentioned that my husband has yet to pack a bag for the hospital? (To be honest, I had only packed mine that morning). He's fumbling around trying to get his things together and I'm getting pretty panicky. Oh yeah, we live almost an hour away from the hospital. My contractions were coming every 3 minutes at that point and, call me crazy but I really didn't want to deliver my child on the side of I-10.

I think my husband secretly loved driving 80+ MPH down the interstate into town. He managed to get me to the hospital in under 45 minutes. Yep, this baby was coming. And soon. Once I got put in a room and changed into my hospital gown, it was a little after 9 PM and I was already dilated to a 7.

The contractions were like nothing I had experienced with my first labor. These were intense, extremely painful and seemed to follow no pattern. It was like the contraction never fully stopped. I had no relief and in between peaks I was afraid to even move because anything would trigger another contraction. I felt a little out of control but my wonderful husband and midwife kept me focused. Everything got a little blurry there toward the end but by 10:55 PM, I was holding our sweet baby boy - Hudson.

Born at 10:55 PM. Weighing 7 lbs. 12.2 oz. and 19.5" long.

"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him."

1 Samuel 1:27

I Cannot Handle This

Last October we found out we were expecting another baby. While we were happy to be adding another member to the family, the news was a bit of a shock. We really weren’t expecting to get pregnant at that time and the news came only two days after my mother-in-law passed away from ovarian cancer. It was hard to be excited about anything in the midst of our grief. 

Then, less than 2 weeks later, I was helping my husband around the house when I felt severe pain and pressure in my abdomen. The pain lasted about 10 minutes before the bleeding started. I felt in my heart that we were losing the baby. I was having a miscarriage. My husband called the midwife’s office only to find out there wasn’t really anything we could do. They estimated that I would be about 6 weeks along and scheduled me for an ultrasound a week and a half later. The cramping and bleeding lasted throughout the day and friends came to help out around the house so I could get some rest. 

That week and a half before seeing the midwife was a very confusing 10 days. I wavered between sadness, relief and guilt. Sometimes I was overcome with sadness. I didn’t know why this was happening to us so soon after losing my mother-in-law. I didn’t understand why God would add to our family’s grief. Other times, I felt relief because I didn’t know if I was really ready to have another baby and then I felt guilty for even thinking that way. It was difficult to process emotionally. 

After a few days, I started feeling very sick - morning sicking kinda sick. This only added to my emotional confusion. From what I read online, it was possible to still experience symptoms of pregnancy even after a miscarriage. I didn’t know what was happening but I had a renewed hope and a faith that this baby was going to ok. 

Sure enough, on November 7, an ultrasound showed a healthy, viable, 7 week old baby. The midwife still isn’t sure what caused the pain, contractions and bleeding but she didn’t see any reason to be concerned (or maybe she didn’t want to freak me out any more than I already was). 

Here we are seven long, difficult months later and we are expecting our baby boy to join us by the end of next month. Our miracle baby. Exciting, right? But can I be honest with you for a minute? There are still times I’ve wondered to myself if this was the best outcome, if I am ready, if I can handle two kids at this point in my life. And, you know what? I can say with certainty that I am not ready. I cannot handle this. There will be rough days, months, years ahead of us just as there have been with my daughter. Thankfully, my strength comes above and not from within or we would be in a lot of trouble! 

Not Home Yet

We closed on the sale of our house only hours before one of the worst floods our area has ever seen. I was so consumed with packing and moving and getting someplace for the night that I didn’t really know what was happening around me. Within hours some people in my hometown had water up to their rooflines, people were taking shelter in their attics, cars were being swept away in currents, rescue boats were going into neighborhoods and workers were cutting holes in roofs to get people out. The Gulf Coast has had it’s share of weather related catastrophes but we’re talking hurricanes not torrential downpours in April. It has left many in the area financially and emotionally devastated.

I have tried to keep this in mind over the past week because I’ve found myself getting down on my circumstances. Yes, we successfully sold our house (yay!), but our new one (that was supposed to be finished mid-April) still has weeks to go before completion. We are staying with a dear couple who has given us access to a wonderful garage apartment with more luxuries than many have. We have plenty of room for the three of us, a little kitchenette, a memory foam mattress, and cable TV (my daughter thinks having 24/7 access to Mickey Mouse is about the best thing on earth). It truly is a blessing to be here but I still find myself getting discouraged and anxious. I long to get into our new house and to be able to turn it into our home. I long for the rest that I will experience when I sleep in my own bed. I long to move from this temporary phase to a more permanent one. 

And that’s when I’m reminded that this is all temporary. As Christians we are all stuck in the waiting room. We are all longing for home. It may not be a recognizable yearning of your heart but it’s there - that feeling that there is more than this. And let me tell you, I am so glad there is! 

Focus on Freebies: The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

Sale ends at tonight at 11:59 PM. Do you want to purchase the bundle but don't currently have the funds? Scroll down to see the details of the Pay in May offer which allows you to pre-order your bundle.

By now, you've heard me rave about the books included in the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle but did you know that the bundle also includes over $200 in bonuses? And these are incredible bonuses that alone are worth the $29.97 to purchase the bundle. 

Focus on Health & Wellness: The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

Today I want to share a recipe with you from the book "My Simple Healthy Life" by Tammie Nelson. This is one of the three books in the Health & Wellness section of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. (Check out the other 75+ books and resources that are included for only $29.97.)  The book is a "minimalist approach to herbal remedies, beauty & natural cleaning." It's got a recipe for elderberry syrup that is a lifesaver in helping beat the flu. There are instructions for making mascara (!), all-natural deodorant, and lip balm. In addition to that, there is a great section on DIY natural cleaning.

Focus on Marriage: The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

Since today is my anniversary I thought I would focus on the Marriage themed books that are included in the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. 

There are 5 e-books about marriage that are specifically geared toward being a Godly wife:

• 31 Days to Build a Better Spouse by Ashley @ LIFE by Ashley Pichea ($7.99)
• Spend the next 31 days praying for your spouse and discover the power of prayer to transform your marriage!

Not a Fight

Today I celebrate 4 years of marriage to my husband. I can't say that these have been 4 perfectly, wonderful years. Honestly, they have been the hardest years of my life. We have gone through a lot of dark places. We have faced the death of a parent and a grandparent. We have had 2 incredibly sleep-deprived, stressful years since our daughter was born. We have fought the dark and scary places that resulted from postpartum depression. We have struggled with the physical pain and emotional ups and downs of this second pregnancy. We have stressed about living arrangements, finances and parenting. 

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

By popular demand, 100+ homemaking bloggers are bringing back The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle, and it's better than ever!

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is a complete library of great eBooks on homemaking—a truly valuable knowledge base you’ll use for many years to come.
Unlike a library, though, you don’t have to spend years building it up. The Ultimate Bundles team has done the hard work for you, searching the web to find the very best eBooks from top homemaking authors and combining them into one essential collection that you can buy in one simple purchase.

Act now to get the ultimate eBook collection on homemaking at a once-in-a-lifetime price.

Moving Marathon

This has been a rough few weeks for our family. You may remember that we are in the midst of moving. I say “in the midst” because moving is an ordeal. A process. It’s not a sprint - it’s a marathon. 

We were originally scheduled to close on the sale of our current home on April 18. Well, folks, here we are on April 22 and we are still in our house. This is both a blessing and a curse. For one, I’m a little nervous about the status of our buyer’s loan; however, I’m glad we didn’t have to resort to sleeping on a friend’s couch for 2 weeks while we wait for our new home to be finished. And as you can in this picture, we have come a long way on the new place but we still have a ways to go. There is still flooring, cabinets, countertops, hardware, and landscaping to be done. 

Thursday afternoon when my daughter came down with an awful stomach bug I was saying prayers of thanks that we weren’t packing up the rest of our things and moving out of the house the next day. I’m pretty sure my pregnant self would have just withered into a pile of tears at that point. Thankfully, I covered our family in prayer and Thieves oil and we got back to healthy pretty fast. In fact, my husband and I were able to steer clear of the bug entirely. 

This was my first experience with Thieves and I’m beyond impressed. Early Sunday morning my mom caught the nastiness and was in bed nearly 2 full days before I was able to get her a roller ball bottle with Thieves in it. In less than an hour she said she felt like a normal person again and even ate a full dinner. She asked me to order her a bottle so she will have some on hand for the next time she feels something coming on. I'm pretty sure my mom thinks that I'm a crazy, crunchy hippie mom but hopefully this experience will lend some credibility to my semi-crunchy ways. (Find out more about my experience with essential oils and how to get some for yourself here). 

Spiritual Band-aids for Life's Boo-Boo's

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My daughter has this thing for band-aids. Honestly, it's more like an obsession. In her mind, band-aids and mama's kisses will fix every ailment known to man. She is often covered in anywhere from 2 to 5 band-aids. You and I both know that a cartoon covered bandage isn't going to heal her cuts, scrapes and blisters. The reality is that once they are covered in something fun and colorful she is able to distract herself from the pain but no healing actually occurs from covering up her "owies" and "boo-boo's."

This got me to thinking about how many times I have put a "band-aid" on the problems in my life and expected that to take away the hurt. Or maybe I just hoped that by not having to look at my problems I could avoid the pain and grief associated with them. The truth is that distraction and busyness don't ever lead to any lasting relief. 

God doesn't want us to simply cover up our wounds and walk around covered in bandages. He wants to heal us.

But God doesn't want us to simply cover up our wounds and walk around covered in bandages. He wants to heal us. He wants to be our Jehovah Rapha - The Lord our Healer. There is something to be said about coming before God and exposing our raw, injured hearts. It's usually not pretty. It's often painful. But it's never fruitless. 

And it is only then that true healing can occur. 

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Easy-Breezy, Stress-Free Potty Training

We are a cloth diapering family not because we're trying to save the planet or protect our daughter's bum from all the nasty stuff in disposable diapers (although those are both pluses). We cloth diaper more out of necessity. When I decided to leave my career and stay home with my daughter, I knew there were some sacrifices I would have to make to be able to do that financially. This particular sacrifice just happens to include loads and loads of squishy poo mashed into diapers on a daily basis. Sounds fun, right?

The closer I get to having baby boy, the more I have been thinking that I just may lose it if I have to handle double the poo and last week I had had it! Now, there are some things about parenting that I spend days and weeks researching, questioning friends, and scouring the internet and then there are other things that I leap headfirst into without the least bit of how-to advice. Potty training fell into that latter category. 

We already had a potty chair and even a Minnie Mouse potty seat for when the time came. I ran to Walmart and picked up some cute training pants. It helps if they are cute, right? I knew that my daughter would need all the motivation I could muster and since she adores anything pink, these were the answer! I immediately took them home and changed her into a pair of "big girl panties." 

That first day I really wasn't sure she was ready. She had three accidents and only made it in the potty once. (Can I just take a minute to note how words like "potty," "poop," and "tee-tee" have become a regular part of my vocabulary? Goodness, y'all!) I was determined though, and I decided that I wasn't going back to diapers except for naps and bedtime. And let's face it, Pull-ups are just diapers in disguise. 

So here we are, a week later, and let me tell you, I am SO glad I decided to stick with it. My girl is doing great and hasn't had an accident in two days! That's two whole days I have gone without changing a single diaper! 

And since I know many of you actually do your research instead of depending on dumb luck like me, I thought I'd share with you what has worked for us. Please note, however, that I have a little girl and don't know the tiniest bit on how to potty train a boy. Also, every child is different so I recommend not sticking to some stringent potty training regimen. Be flexible, experiment with different techniques and find out what works for your child. 

1. Make sure your child is ready. 

Before I actually became a parent I was pretty sure that I knew everything. I'm sure you've been there too and then someone hands you a tiny infant and suddenly you know nothing! Absolutely nothing! Well, I used to think that all that "wait until the child is ready" stuff was a load of poo. I mean, aren't we just teaching our kids to use the bathroom in their pants by keeping them in diapers until they are 3-years old? And around the world, children are potty trained years earlier than they are in the U.S. What are we doing wrong? 

Thinking along those lines, I first introduced my gal to the potty when she was a little over a year old. She would sit and sit on it but didn't have the bladder control to actually go and she couldn't identify when she needed to. I've always left the potty chair out for her in the event she wanted to use it but I stopped forcing it.

Just in the past few months, my gal has been alerting us to her wet/dirty diapers (she turned 2 a few months ago). I knew we were getting close. Then a few weeks ago she started peeing as soon as I put her in the bath at night. And she was obviously doing it on purpose. Bingo! She was ready. 

2. Make it fun.

Get your kiddo some cartoon-covered panties and use them to your advantage, mama! Your kiddo won't want to get them messy if they really love them. You can even let her pick them out herself. Some parents have reward charts and potty songs but we didn't have to resort to those (yet). And while I'm not an advocate of bribing your child, this is one situation where I think it won't harm them. My daughter will do anything for a gummy bear so all I had to do was tell her she could have a gummy bear if she went on the potty for me. And success! She doesn't get one every time she goes now - I don't want her to end up ten years old and expecting a gummy bear every time she pees. 

We also moved her potty chair smack dab in the middle of the living room. We did this for a few reasons. First of all, many children have potty training accidents because they don't want to miss out on what is happening. Since most of what is "happening" at our house takes place in and around the living room I knew this was where her potty needed to be. Secondly, kids can't always make their potty time quick and to the point, especially in the beginning. I wanted her to be able to sit on the potty and watch cartoons and not feel rushed. It seems to be working well right now but obviously she can't relieve herself in the living room forever. 

3. Make the switch to Big Kid Underwear and don't go back. 

Training pants and underwear have a completely different feel from diapers. Diapers are made to draw the moisture away so your tot doesn't feel the wetness. In training pants, your child will immediately feel any accidents and you can use that discomfort to your advantage. You want your child to dislike the feeling and be motivated to go to the toilet. 

Right now we use pull-ups (hate them) for naps and bedtime but all other times my girl is in either training pants or underwear which brings us to number 4. 

4. Be prepared for accidents

They are going to happen and they will happen at inopportune times like in the middle of making dinner. You will get peed on. So will your floor, your couch, your dining room chairs, and the car seat. It's going to happen so just prepare yourself. Puppy piddle pads are great for lining chairs and carseats. Stock up. I recommend starting potty training at a time when you are able to stay home for a few days. If you do have to go out bring a change of clothes for your toddler and maybe even for yourself. 

5. Praise your child when they succeed and encourage them when they fail

That should just be a blanket statement for all of parenting not just in regard to potty training but I think it's especially important here. Your child will not potty train any faster if you scold them when they have an accident. In fact, that is one sure way to ensure your child has more accidents and even medical complications. Give your child hugs and kisses and clap for them when they make it to the potty. They will love seeing how happy they make you and will want to continue to bring your joy. When they fail, reassure them of your love and that you are still proud of them. Your toddler is not trying to purposefully hurt your or disappoint you. Give her love and grace and she will learn so much more than just how to pee in the potty.

My Introduction to Young Living Essential Oils or "How I Learned to Stop Poisoning My Family"

I was first introduced to essential oils (EO's) in 2012 when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a beautiful, hippie natural birth planned and wanted to do all I could to facilitate an easy delivery. I did minimal research and decided on some lavender to help me relax during labor, sweet orange for when I needed energy to push and clary sage to help speed things along. I was so excited when I was able to pick these oils up at my local GNC for less than $20 and I immediately threw them in my hospital "Go" bag.

However, the birth moved so quickly that I didn't even get a chance to open my bag and pull out any of the goodies I had brought - and I had brought a lot (that's a entirely different post). The oils went unused for months until I decided to try my cheap lavender oil to help my daughter relax and fall asleep at night. And guess what folks, it didn't help at ALL!!! 

How to Move Without Losing Your Sanity - Packing

Gearing up for a move is no joke when you have a toddler running between your legs and a pregnant belly so big you can't fit between tight spaces. That being said, here are some packing tips that have made things run a little more smoothly around here.

How to Move Without Losing Your Sanity (Intro.)

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A few months ago my husband was looking at things we could cut in our budget to cover some of our changing financial situation (increased health insurance costs, new baby on the way, etc.). One of the things we both decided could use a change was our location. We live in a small, beautiful beach town full of young families. We chose to live where we live because it was a good value for a beautiful location and it was half-way between my husband's job and my family. However, after four years, my husband's hour-long commute to and from work every day was wearing on the entire family. We missed having him home and we were spending a lot of money on gas.

Once we looked at the true cost of commuting and how much time and money we would save just by moving 10 miles closer, we were sold. 

Maternity Clothes I Love

Pregnancy doesn't mean you have to dress in stretchy blah maternity shirts and paneled denim. Take a look at these adorable, fashionable finds from Pink Blush*.

1. PEACH WHITE TRIBAL PRINT BELTED MATERNITY TOP, $29 2. MINT GREEN KNIT MATERNITY TOP, $28 3. BLACK PRINT BELTED MATERNITY DRESS, $38 4. BEIGE LACE FITTED MATERNITY TOP, $28.99 5. BLACK PINK COLORBLOCK MATERNITY MAXI DRESS, $38

*Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. I just find these clothes adorable and I hope you do too. 

That Time I Swallowed a Watermelon Seed

I am currently 6 months pregnant with a kid the size of watermelon. Yesterday I had two people comment that I must be “ready to pop” any day now. Um, no, I’ve still got 3 more months but thanks for implying that my belly is enormous. That’s just what every pregnant woman wants to hear.

This has not been an easy pregnancy for me. I suffered from horrible 
morning all-day sickness and fatigue for the first 16 weeks. I could barely get off the couch. And then at about 5 months, I started having awful back pain that threatened to put me right back in my warm little corner of the sofa. I think I’ve finally gotten that under control with the help of my chiropractor and a new exercise routine.

As tired and exhausted as I feel, sleep eludes me. Never again will I tell a first-time pregnant mama to “get all the sleep you can before the baby comes.” The sleep stops long before you give birth. Long, long, before. Last night I’m pretty sure my little watermelon baby did a complete 360º over a period of about an hour. Have I mentioned the baby is a boy? I’m not sure I’m ready for this.  I’m definitely not ready for this.