Any day now. Any day now we will be welcoming our little boy into the world. A huge part of me is ready for this to happen now. My physical body is in pain. I have a hard time walking, squatting, and standing for very long. Sleep is a precious gift that eludes me. Physically, I am ready to have this baby. I am SO tired of being pregnant.
But there’s also a considerable part of me that wants to keep this baby inside my belly forever. To prolong the inevitable. And that’s the part of me I’m trying to come to terms with. It isn’t that I’m dreading the sleepless nights with a newborn or those exhausting and often difficult first few weeks. With enough coffee and chocolate I can survive that.
I wrote the lines above at 7:45 AM on June 16, eight days before my due date. I didn't finish the post. My daughter woke up. Our day got started. We had to make the 50 mile drive to the midwife's office that afternoon. After the exam she informed me that I was only dilated to 1 cm and this baby would probably not make his arrival for another 1-2 weeks. Ugh. I sent messages to everyone letting them know that the baby's arrival was still a ways out.
I was more than a little disappointed at that news and proceeded to emotionally eat an entire bag of Sheila G's Brownie Brittle. Have you tried that stuff? AH-mazing! But honestly, eating 500 calories of chocolate deliciousness did little to help me feel any better. I felt like my body was failing me. Or maybe I was the one failing. I wasn't sure which but I felt helpless.
After my chocolate covered pity party I decided I had better get on with my day. Back at home I started feeling really crampy from the midwife's exam so I decided to take it easy. Throughout dinner, the cramps just got worse and on our evening walk there were moments I was in so much pain I had to lean over the stroller. Still, I was positive this was just a reaction to the exam since I hadn't had one since 35 weeks.
By six o'clock I was pretty sure I was having contractions but come on, the midwife had told me just hours ago that I wasn't close to going into labor. They must be Braxton Hicks, I thought, but still I decided to make another lap around the neighborhood and call the midwife. It was 7 PM at that point. The midwife confirmed that they were likely BH especially since they weren't following any pattern, coming as close as a minute and a half apart and only lasting for 30 seconds on average. I was instructed to drink a ton of water and lay down - maybe take a warm bath - and the contractions should stop.
I drank my water and laid down for about five minutes. That was long enough for me to know this was real labor. Have I mentioned that my husband has yet to pack a bag for the hospital? (To be honest, I had only packed mine that morning). He's fumbling around trying to get his things together and I'm getting pretty panicky. Oh yeah, we live almost an hour away from the hospital. My contractions were coming every 3 minutes at that point and, call me crazy but I really didn't want to deliver my child on the side of I-10.
I think my husband secretly loved driving 80+ MPH down the interstate into town. He managed to get me to the hospital in under 45 minutes. Yep, this baby was coming. And soon. Once I got put in a room and changed into my hospital gown, it was a little after 9 PM and I was already dilated to a 7.
The contractions were like nothing I had experienced with my first labor. These were intense, extremely painful and seemed to follow no pattern. It was like the contraction never fully stopped. I had no relief and in between peaks I was afraid to even move because anything would trigger another contraction. I felt a little out of control but my wonderful husband and midwife kept me focused. Everything got a little blurry there toward the end but by 10:55 PM, I was holding our sweet baby boy - Hudson.
After my chocolate covered pity party I decided I had better get on with my day. Back at home I started feeling really crampy from the midwife's exam so I decided to take it easy. Throughout dinner, the cramps just got worse and on our evening walk there were moments I was in so much pain I had to lean over the stroller. Still, I was positive this was just a reaction to the exam since I hadn't had one since 35 weeks.
By six o'clock I was pretty sure I was having contractions but come on, the midwife had told me just hours ago that I wasn't close to going into labor. They must be Braxton Hicks, I thought, but still I decided to make another lap around the neighborhood and call the midwife. It was 7 PM at that point. The midwife confirmed that they were likely BH especially since they weren't following any pattern, coming as close as a minute and a half apart and only lasting for 30 seconds on average. I was instructed to drink a ton of water and lay down - maybe take a warm bath - and the contractions should stop.
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| My sleepy little girl and I after getting checked in at the hospital |
I drank my water and laid down for about five minutes. That was long enough for me to know this was real labor. Have I mentioned that my husband has yet to pack a bag for the hospital? (To be honest, I had only packed mine that morning). He's fumbling around trying to get his things together and I'm getting pretty panicky. Oh yeah, we live almost an hour away from the hospital. My contractions were coming every 3 minutes at that point and, call me crazy but I really didn't want to deliver my child on the side of I-10.
I think my husband secretly loved driving 80+ MPH down the interstate into town. He managed to get me to the hospital in under 45 minutes. Yep, this baby was coming. And soon. Once I got put in a room and changed into my hospital gown, it was a little after 9 PM and I was already dilated to a 7.
The contractions were like nothing I had experienced with my first labor. These were intense, extremely painful and seemed to follow no pattern. It was like the contraction never fully stopped. I had no relief and in between peaks I was afraid to even move because anything would trigger another contraction. I felt a little out of control but my wonderful husband and midwife kept me focused. Everything got a little blurry there toward the end but by 10:55 PM, I was holding our sweet baby boy - Hudson.
Born at 10:55 PM. Weighing 7 lbs. 12.2 oz. and 19.5" long.
"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him."
1 Samuel 1:27
